


Four Times Remus Lupin Cried in Sirius Blacks Arms and the One Time Sirius Cried in His

by Ch3rryWin3



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, be gentle when this sucks, i haven’t written anything in awhile so, obviously, probably, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 11:43:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ch3rryWin3/pseuds/Ch3rryWin3
Summary: It was the first full moon of his time at Hogwarts, and Remus hurt all over. It had been a particularly bad moon, because of course it had been. That was how Remus Lupin’s luck worked and he’d learned to accept it quite awhile ago. He knew he should go to the infirmary, the aching in his ribs reminding him with every stumbled step. But he wanted a shirt. In his rush to leave his dorm last night he’d forgotten to grab one for himself to change into when he turned back.





	1. Chapter 1

It was the first full moon of his time at Hogwarts, and Remus hurt all over. It had been a particularly bad moon, because of course it had been. That was how Remus Lupin’s luck worked and he’d learned to accept it quite awhile ago. He knew he should go to the infirmary, the aching in his ribs reminding him with every stumbled step. But he wanted a shirt. In his rush to leave his dorm last night he’d forgotten to grab one for himself to change into when he turned back.

 

He stumbled into the common room, not aware of it until he collapsed on a couch. Nobody else was awake, the sun had barely risen and it was a Saturday. He needed to sit, every breath brought a sharp pain through his chest down his ribs. He was used to the pain, albeit the fact it was slightly worse than usual, but it still overwhelmed him. It had long since stopped making hot tears slide down his face, though. He couldn’t really remember the last time he’d cried more than a few tears, alone at night and afraid. So, so afraid.

 

“Remus?” Someone spoke, pulling the boy from his thoughts. It was Sirius, one of the boys Remus shared a dorm with. They’d all become fast friends. Him, Sirius, James and Peter. At first Remus had been determined to keep to himself for the entirety of his time here. He didn’t want to risk hurting anybody. But they’d made it near impossible to not befriend them, and so he’d given in. Remus sat up when he heard his name again “Yeah?” His voice was raw and cracked halfway through the simple word.

 

Sirius walked over, seemingly confused. “Are you..ok?” He questioned, sitting down beside his friend. Remus nodded, a blatant lie. “Yeah..yeah I fell down the steps. Couldn’t sleep, so I went for walk.” Sirius gave him a look that told Remus his lie wasn’t cutting it. The Black boy reached out to touch a particularly bad bruise that covered a majority of Remus’ left side. Remus flinched back at the light touch, even that much hurt. And despite himself, he was scared. He didn’t know why but he was. “Remus?” Sirius asked again, his expression becoming even more concerned. Remus was crying. When had that started; better yet why had it started?

 

He ducked his head down so his hair covered his face, he could feel his shoulders shaking. It hurt. It hurt bad. But he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried. A sob escaped his lips when arms wrapped gingerly around him and he was pulled against the other boy. They kept coming, at some point he began hugging Sirius back, holding on tight and crying harder than he had in a long time. He could hear Sirius shushing him quietly, lightly running a hand up and down his bare back.

 

He calmed after about ten minutes, his breath ragged. The pain had intensified tenfold, every breath felt like he was inhaling fire. “Sor- Sorry” He hiccuped, pulling his face away from where he’s buried it in Sirius’ shoulder. There was a wet spot in his robes where his tears had fallen. Remus felt his face burn red. Sirius shook his head “it’s alright, don’t worry” he still had a hand on Remus’ shoulder.

 

“C’mon, we should get you to the infirmary” he spoke quietly, gently helping Remus up. “I- shirt.” Remus managed to choke out, the words burning a fire in his chest. Sirius shrugged off his robes and pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it towards the other boy. Remus started at him as he pulled his robes back on. “Well? You’re really hurt and we don’t have all day.” Remus stared for a moment longer before he pulled the shirt over his head, it smelled like campfire smoke and sandalwood. Sirius smiled, seemingly satisfied. “Alright, off we go” He said, throwing an arm around Remus’ shoulders.


	2. Chapter 2

It was late and they were the only ones in the common room, passing a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans around. Laughing at the misfortune of their friends. James brought a box every year for them to share on the first night back, including both summer and Christmas. All four of them always ended up regretting it, but it was fun nonetheless. The year had flown by fast, Christmas was already over. Come and gone with the wind. 

 

“Vomit!” James shouted suddenly, spitting into the fire, although it seemed to do nothing. Sirius howled with laughter “stop being so over dramatic!” He managed. “Oh you’re one to talk about overdramatic” Remus challenged from across the circle, grinning wide. Sirius clasped his hands over his heart, looking deeply offended. “Me? Dramatic? Remus how could you!” He cried, falling back as if he’d been shot.

 

Remus tolled his eyes, laughing at Sirius’s antics. At some point the dark haired boy had begun to make Remus’ stomach do gymnastics routines but he chose to ignore it. Push it down and hope it would go away. The box of beans was pushed towards him by James and he eyed it warily. “If I get vomit as well I’m blaming you completely, Potter” Remus spoke before grabbing a red bean he hoped would be cinnamon. 

He bit down and the taste of pennies filled his mouth. His body tensed, this was a taste he was all too familiar with. “You alright there mate?” Peter questioned. All the color had drained from Remus’ face. “Yeah..yeah fine” he mumbled, standing up. His eyes burned. “I uh...I’m gonna head to bed. Had a late night last night” he spoke slightly louder, rushing out of the room with his head down. He all but collapsed on his bed and squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could. 

—————

Remus didn’t remember falling asleep, only waking up on the ground in a tangle of blankets with a scream escaping his throat. He sat up fast, breathing ragged. His eyes scanned the dorm hastily. He was alone, the others likely still in the common room. He backed himself against the wall, pulling his legs to his chest. He pressed his face into his knees and tried to push back the tears. His whole body shook, partly from the cold and partly because he was terrified. He hardly even remembered the nightmare but still he shook.

“Remus you alright? Is there a big spider or something?” Sirius’s voice came from the door. Remus said nothing, curling tighter around himself. Maybe if he just stayed silent Sirius would go away. No such luck, he heard Sirius walking towards him. “Hey..” he spoke again, right in front of him now. “‘m fine” Remus choked out, his voice betraying him. He could feel the burn of tears begging to be shed behind his eyes. 

Sirius sat beside him, pulling the smaller boy into his side, fingers carding through his hair. A few tears began to fall, and Remus shivered harder. Sirius was warm, and comforting. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sirius asked, voice gentle. “I-“ the other boy started, cutting himself off with a sob. He tried again, but couldn’t even get a syllable. Just another sob. And another. Sirius’s arm tightened around him, whispering quiet reassurances. Remus cried harder, an ache somewhere deep down pushing him even further over the edge. 

Remus wasn’t sure how long he sat there crying, Sirius softly trying to comfort him, but eventually he stopped. Eventually the tears stopped falling and he could take in a few deep ragged breaths. Sirius helped him stand and led him back to his bed. Remus didn’t want to let go but let himself be pushed to lie down, almost crying out again at the sound of Sirius walking away. He curled around himself, still shaking.

He didn’t want to be alone. Not now. Remus felt new tears start to spring to the surface, a lump forming in his throat. He jumped when a heavy blanket was dropped over him, it smelt distinctly of Sirius. He glanced up as Sirius slipped under the blanket beside him, wrapping his arms around the shaking boy again, absently tracing a scar that ran up and down Remus’s arm. 

 

The brown haired boy managed to press himself closer, burying his face into Sirius’s chest. He was a solid a presence, a warm comfort. Remus told himself that was the only reason he pressed closer, ignored his stomach doing somersaults. “You’re gonna be ok.” Sirius spoke softly, still tracing the scar on Remus’s arm. Slowly Remus’s eyes grew heavy, he could almost swear he felt a kiss being pressed to his forehead as he fell into the depths of sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius slept in Remus' bed most nights after the Bertie Botts' incident, and it was a warm comfort to Remue to know he was there. He still tried to ignore how is stomach twisted every time Sirius slipped under the covers beside him. As much as Remus loved it, the full moon was nearing. It would be harder to slip away and slip back in unnoticed with Sirius there. He stressed and stressed, but on the night of the moon Sirius retired early, in his own bed this time. Relief flooded Remus' body as he grabbed clothes from his trunk and, as unnoticed as he could, slipped out of the castle and into the night.

 

\-------

 

When he came back the next morning, a dull ache in his ribs and strict instructions to stay in bed for the day, Sirius sat wide awake in Remus' bed. "Where on earth have you been?" He questioned, long hair missed up still from sleep. "Infirmary" Remus grumbled from his place across the room. It was partly true, he had just come from the infirmary. "All bloody night?" Sirius spoke again, eyebrows raised. "

 

Yeah" Remus mumbled, making his way across the room to his bed. He didn't sit down though, just stood by the side of his bed. Out of the corner of his eye he could see James and Peter getting up. He hoped Sirius would let it drop, but this was Sirius. "Its like you're a werewolf or something, disappearing once a month," Sirius jokes but Remus's entire body froze. Suddenly he was furious and exhausted and afraid and so, so sad all at once. Furious at Sirius. Furious at himself. He spoke before his brain could process it, could stop him. "Probably because I am! Ding ding Sirius is a winner, Remus Lupin is a bloodthirsty monster!" Remus snapped, fury filling his body so suddenly he could hardly feel the ache in his bones.

 

It disappeared as quickly as it appeared, the look on Sirius's face, the shock and the hurt, pulled him out of it. "What?" It was James's voice that broke the thick silence. Remus was out of the dorm and at the exit to the common room before he realized he was running. Tears burnt at his eyes and his ribs ached as he ran. He didn't stop until he reached the library, tears rolling down his cheeks and breath heavy. He managed to find a small chair in a small abandoned corner of the library and collapsed on it, eyes drifting closed.

 

\--------

 

"Remus, are you alright?" A female voice pulled Remus from his sleep, eyes cracking open. It took him a moment to recognize the face "Evans?" He mumbled, sitting up in the chair he'd collapsed in. "M' fine" he answered, rubbing at his eyes. His ribs burnt and the scrapes and bruises littering his body stung like fire. "What are you doing here by yourself? Potter hasn't even tried to flirt with me today, is everything alright?" Lily asked, perching herself on the arm of the chair.

 

Remus groaned a little at the memory, he'd gone and outed himself hadn't he? He was gonna have to write to his parents, beg them to let him drop out. "Yeah just said something I shouldn't have." Lily looked suspicious, but pat his shoulder. "You should talk to them, they're pretty bent up about whatever happened. I don't think Black has said a word all day, or even eaten anything."

 

Remus winced. That was very un-Sirius like behaviour. Even when he got letters from home he wasn't like that. They must all really hate him.. "Yeah, yeah I will. Share a dorm with them, not much of a choice" Remus forced a laugh, the ache in his ribs a welcome distraction. Lily smiled at him and stood up "I've got to head to class now. I hope you all work this out" she said as she turned away and walked off.

 

\--------

 

Remus snuck back into the dorm. He knew the others were at supper right now. He'd have time to pack his things and write his parents, let them know he was coming home. That he'd screwed up. Screwed up bad. "Remus?" The boy froze. It was James' voice. Why the hell was he back?? Remus said nothing, just continuing to pack his things. "Remus what are you doing??" James was closer this time and tried to force the tension to leave his shoulders. "Packing." He kept his answer short, didn't think he could go more than one word without crying. "Why are you doing that? Where the bloody hell are you going?" James demanded, stepping in front of Remus to block him from his trunk. "Home." He answered, casting his eyes down.

 

James stepped forward and Remus stepped back. This continued until he walked right into someone. Sirius. He'd slept pressed against him enough recently to know. He whipped around, fear filling his body. This was an attack. They were going to kill him or hand him over to someone who would or- His terrified thought process was interrupted by Sirius wrapping his arms around him. Hugging him tight. It hurt, the injuries from the moon still not healed. The ones that weren't from the moon, not exactly, had hardly stopped bleeding. Remus heard Peter's voice, somewhere far off in the distance.

 

Then he was falling to the ground with a sob, his legs collapsing beneath him. Sirius went with him, not releasing him from the hug. He thought he could feel James and Peter join in too but he was only truly aware of his own painful sobs. Everything else faded into the background. White noise compared to the screaming in his head. He sobbed for a long time, too long to remember, nearly throwing up with the force of it. Its not like he had anything to throw up anyway. Eventually he came back, once again aware of the people around him. He was holding on tight to Sirius, face buried in the crook of his neck. He was still shaking, and he could feel James and Peter on either side of him, holding on almost as tight as Sirius. He didn't understand. Why didn't they hate him.

 

"Why-" Remus could barely choke the word out, his voice was shaky. He lifted his head from where it was hidden. "Why dont..I'm a monster." He managed to get the sentence out, it was shaky and weak but he'd spoken. "No, you aren't mate. You're Remus. You read too much and eat a lot of chocolate, like ungodly amounts of chocolate, and you let us cheat off your homework-" Peter cut James off with a "let is a strong word." James ignored him. "You're our friend, and I will literally hex all of your clothes to be bubblegum pink if you argue with me right now." Remus stayed silent.

 

He wanted to believe James, he did, but it contradicted everything he'd ever been told. Even by his parents who he loved and who loved him. "Hide the monster, Remus" "Don't let anyone know about the monster" He felt the tears start again, he just couldn't stop shaking.

 

"Have you eaten anything?" It was Peter who spoke this time, he sounded concerned. Remus hardly managed to shake his head. "Let's go back down and get him some James" Remus felt Peter stand up, James made a noise that was full of hesitance but he stood up as well. Remus heard them leave and he sat alone on the floor with Sirius. Sirius, who hasn't spoken a word since he'd entered. Remus didn't like the silence, it was so..un-Sirius like. It was unsettling. "Sirius-" Remus started, but stopped. He didn't know what to say. "I don't care, Remus. If you're a bloody werewolf or a unicorn. Don't scare me like that again, running off." Sirius's arms tightened around Remus, who winced.

 

The violent sobbing had stopped, but the pain had returned. Sirius loosened his grip, pulling back a little to look at Remus. He tried to look down, sure he looked a mess. Sirius gripped his face gently, pushing his head back up. Then suddenly their lips were colliding and Remus sat frozen. He was kissing Sirius Black. He was a werewolf and Sirius knew that and yet they sat on the floor of their dorm and Sirius was kissing him. Remus almost forgot to kiss back in his shock of the situation. Eventually they pulled away, and Sirius hugged him tight again.

 

"Can we..get off the floor?" Remus asked quietly, trying to lighten the mood a little. Sirius chuckled quietly "yeah alright Re," he spoke, just as quietly, helping Remus stand. Remus barely managed to stumble back to his bed, he was so exhausted. It had been...a stressful day and he ached all over. He was barely awake long enough for Sirius to get them underneath the long haired boys heavy quilt that seemed to have found a permanent place on Remus's bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus pulled the quilt that had originally been Sirius' over his head, curling tight around himself. Everybody else was in the great hall at lunch but he didn't feel up to it. The very thought of eating made him sick to his stomach.  
  
They'd gone over bogart's earlier that day in Defence Against the Dark Arts and he'd been sick ever since. The image of himself covered in blood and the bodies of his friends at his feet haunted him every time he closed his eyes. Everytime he looked at them he could vividly see the images of them dead, throats ripped out and limbs torn off.   
  
He shivered despite the fact he was sweating underneath the heavy quilt. Remus' hands held tighter to the quilt when he heard the door to the dormitory open. "Looks like he's asleep" Peter's voice spoke quietly from somewhere near the door.   
  
"You feeling alright, Re?" Sirius' voice this time, accompanied by the bed dipping down as the other boy sat down on the edge. He wasn't quite as easily fooled. Still spending most nights in Remus' bed unless he passed out on the floor or in the common room first, he knew what a sleeping Remus looked like, and the too still mass under the blanket wasn't it.   
  
"Fine, just..got a little woozy is all" His voice sounded strained and he knew it. It was getting hard to breath underneath the heavy layer and he hesitantly stuck his head out. "Just gonna sleep it off, tell Slughorn I'm sick" Remus forced out. He didn't have the energy for potions, he was awful at it and didn't need another reminder of just how much he sucked today.   
  
"Sure he'll be pleased to know nothing will be blown up today" James said from beside Sirius. Remus forced out a laugh, and he guessed it sounded believable enough because they bid him farewell and told him to feel better. Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus' cheek before he left.   
  
\-----------  
  
Remus did manage to sleep while the others attended classes, but only barely and the rest was fitful. He gave up around the time dinner started and forced himself from his bed to shower. He grabbed clothes out of his trunk, all his movements felt like he was walking through syrup.  
  
He started to walk towards the door but his eye caught Sirius' trunk and he slowly made his way over. Surely he wouldn't notice if that muggle pocket knife he'd picked up went missing until morning? He'd never noticed when it disappeared just for a little while.  
  
\---------  
  
When the others came up from dinner Remus had showered, and was sitting on his bed with homework spread out in front of him. "I take it you're feeling better?" James asked, falling backwards into his own bed.   
  
Remus nodded, a bit of a lie, but what James didn't know wouldn't hurt him. "Yeah, guess I was just really tired." He spoke as Sirius sat beside him, slinging an arm over his shoulders "Better not infect me if you're sick" he said, a face of mock seriousness on his face.  
  
"Ickle Sirius cant handle a little sickness?" James laughed from where he lay on his bed. "Ickle James cant handle talking to Evan's without making a fool of himself?" Sirius quickly retaliated. "Low blow, mate" Peter popped in, he was sitting on his own bed.   
  
"I agree with Pete! Really low blow!" James argued, sitting up. "Completley deserved, though" Peter spoke again, earning a glare from James. "Remus! Please tell me you see sense!" James pleaded, clasping his hands together.   
  
"Yeah I do, as in quit laughing at James' hilarious love life and let me do the homework you're all gonna steal and copy when you think I'm not paying attention" Remus said, looking at Sirius in particular.   
  
James mumbled something that sounded like "bloody tossers, the whole lot of you" as he lay down, but it went largely ignored.   
  
\---------  
  
Remus awoke early the next morning, snuggling closer to Sirius for a moment. Sirius was warm and safe. Then he remembered the muggle knife he still had hidden in his school things and begrudgingly got up, retrieving the knife and placing it where he'd found it the day before. He ignored the dull ache in his sides when he bent over.   
  
\--------  
  
Remus was starving the moment he smelled food. He hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before, thanks to the foul state the bogart had left him in. Thankfully Fridays were blessedly Defence Against The Dark Arts free. He only had two classes Friday. Care of Magical Creatures with Peter, James and Sirius in the morning then Divination with James and Sirius in the afternoon.  
  
Peter had chosen to avoid divination, claiming he didn't want to know what his future had in store for him.  
  
"What if I'm destined to become a murderer!"   
  
"Pete you're about as likely to become a murderer as Sirius is to go to Azkaban"   
  
"Hey! I'd like you to know I am very punk and very likely to break the law!"   
  
"Sirius you're like a puppy who thinks its scary"   
  
\---------  
  
Remus found himself once again on operation "borrow Sirius' knife" that night. Divination hadn't been...amazing. He knew it was likely all bullshit, but still he stressed. And still he wanted to think about something else.   
  
\--------  
  
Remus, personally, thought he'd been very stealthy. Returning the knife to its proper place on his way to the showers Saturday night. His shower that night stung, but he almost welcomed it.  
  
Any congratulations he were to give himself however ended after his shower. He was in the midst of brushing his teeth, he had thrown sweatpants on but had yet to throw on whatever shirt he'd grabbed, not wanting to get toothpaste or water on it. This, he thought, would be fine. Since the others had showered before dinner, and brushed their teeth while he'd showered.   
  
"Hey Remus can you help me with Astronomy it's such a stupid assig-" Sirius had burst into the dorm bathroom, sounding frustrated. But he cut himself off midway through his sentence. Remus looked down at his sides, then back up at Sirius. He spit into the sink and rinsed out his mouth before he spoke.   
  
It gave him a moment to think his answer over. "Got into a bit of a fight with a cat. Bet it was Snivelleus'. Maybe Malfoy's." He spoke, working to keep his voice calm. Sirius looked hesitant to believe him, but nodded. "Right uh...astronomy? Can you help?" He mumbled.  
  
Remus nodded "yeah let me throw a shirt on."   
  
\--------  
  
About 20 minutes into helping Sirius with the assignment the black haired boy broke. James was down in the common room, likely bothering Evan's, and Pete had vacated the premises about 10 minutes ago and run off to God knows where. Remus genuinely didn't want to ask.  
  
"Was it really a cat?" Sirius questioned, cutting Remus off in the middle of an explanation. He felt his shoulders tense. "Yeah something like that, was a beast that's for sure" Remus forced a laugh into his voice. It died quickly when he saw the expression on Sirius' face.   
  
"Remus.." he started but was promptly cut off. "Just dont worry about it alright?" Remus snapped, sounding angrier than he meant to. He felt regret the moment Sirius flinched and he averted his gaze down.  
  
"I'm sorry just..I'm fine ok? Dont..dont worry about me. I'm nothing to worry about." He muttered, suddenly very interested in the pattern of his bedsheets.   
  
He heard Sirus' astronomy homework get pushed into the floor and felt himself get pulled against Sirius. He flinched as his wool jumper rubbed against the marks.   
  
They were suddenly laying flat and facing each other. Sirius looked...well, serious. "Remus you're everything to me, if you're...if you're hurting yourself I'm going to worry"   
  
Remus hid his face, he hated how..how worried Sirius looked. He hated when people worried about him. "I'm fine Sirius, really." But the words were cracked and forced and he could feel the telltale sting behind his eyes.   
  
"You're not Remus, what's the matter?" Before there could be an answer Remus let out a sob. He wasn't even really sure what was the matter himself. Not until his subconscious had him choke out the words "deserve it."   
  
Sirius held him close as he cried, occasionally choking out things about deserving it and being a monster. Things that weren't right but tha Remus believed deep within himself.  
  
When he calmed Sirius sat them up and took Remus' hands in his own, tracing the scarred skin absently. "Remus look at me." He hesitated for a moment before meeting grey eyes.   
  
"You aren't a monster- ah ah let me finish. You aren't. You're Remus John Lupin and you mean so much to so many people. Of the lot of us you're probably the only one Evan's would save in a burning fire. And sbes a pretty good judge of character-"   
  
"Doesnt she call James a prat at least thrice a day?"   
  
"Like I said great judge of character. Also you're amazing and funny and way too attractive and you're the furthest thing from a monster I've ever seen," one of Sirius' hands went to lightly trace the scars that ran across Remus' face "and you domt deserve to hurt, no matter how much you might think it. For every reason you come up with to think you do I'll come up with ten reasons why you dont."   
  
Remus didn't realize he was crying again until Sirius wiped away a tear with his thumb. Remus fell against his chest, pulling him to lie down again. "Sap much?" Remus mumbled through the new tears.  
  
"Ah you love it" Sirius responded, laughing when a sharp elbow jabbed him in the ribs. "Yeah, I do" he admitted, sniffling.   
  
"Really though. I meant what I said. You dont deserve to hurt. If yiu... if you feel like that again just..come to me. Please? I love you, Re. I dont want you to hurt."   
  
You could pinpoint the exact moment Sirius realized the sentence "I love you" had left his mouth, his entire body tensing. "Yeah i... I'll try to. Its..hard. sometimes." Remus answered, hiding his face in Sirius' neck. "And I love you too, you big sap" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so this got Super Angsty. Love being Not Ok and projecting how Not Ok you are into a fictional character rather than yknow... dealing w it. Healthy coping mechanisms? Dont know her sorry


	5. Chapter 5

Remus hadn't expected to be flooing into the Potter's house that night but James’ letter had said something about Sirius. Something had happened, but there weren't any specifics. Only the request that he show up. And now he stood outside the door to what was now Sirius’ room.

He knocked gently before opening the door and entering. The room was dim and there was a mass on the bed that appeared vaguely human shaped. “Sirius?” he called softly, shutting the door behind him. There was a muffled “go away” from underneath the blankets.

Remus sat on the edge of the bed “James said you haven't left this room in a week, I'm not gonna go away.” The mass of blankets didn't respond, but it did turn. Sirius had either turned towards or away from him.

Remus gently pulled the blankets to find out which and was greeted by Sirius’ face. There was a bruise on his cheek and he had a split lip accompanied by several more cuts and scrapes.

Remus couldn't even ask the question before “mum kicked me out, wanted one last laugh first though.” Sirius’ voice was sharp and devoid of emotion, despite the forced bark of laughter after the sentence.

He frowned, pushing the blankets back further ao he could get under and lie beside Sirius. “She kicked you out?”

“Found out I wouldn't carry on the incesty bloodline of ours because I'm a shirt lifter. Last straw for her.”

Remus wrapper his arms around Sirius gently, making sure to be wary of any other possible injuries.

“She doesn't deserve you anyway” Remus’ voice was quiet and he felt Sirius press closer to him.

At first he thought the other boy was laughing, confusing flowing through him. Then he realized Sirius was crying. Remus shushed him quietly, carding one of his hands through Sirius’ hair while the other rubbed circles into his back.

Remus whispered reassurances into Sirius’ ear, holding him as the silent crying turned into full body sobs. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Sirius cry. Not when his mother sent letters, not when Regulus was awful.

Remus let Sirius cry for as long as he needed, quiet whispers and heartbreaking sobs the only sound in the room.

Eventually he calmed, although he still shook. “Do you..want to talk about it?” Remus asked. Sirius shook his head from where his face was still hidden in Remus’ chest. “Not..not right now.” His voice cracked and Remus nodding, holding onto him a little tighter. “Know I'm here, yeah? Always will be.”

Sirius nodded this time “Who's the sap now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over and it was bad bc I did most of it when I should've been paying attention in class but American History is Just So Boring


End file.
